A few months ago, I lost almost everything. I responded by letting go completely, inch by inch, sometimes it was so painful. I pried my palms open and kept them open. I had learnt from past experience that holding on, when everything is clearly leaving, only makes it more painful. I allowed every emotion I felt to flow and find its fruition, whatever that maybe, all the while keeping my awareness in my heart. Allowing my emotions to flow, especially the most painful ones, I noticed that they transformed unexpectedly into peace and joy.
To my surprise, I also found that the nothingness I fell in, was so full, and the falling into it had a soft, yet endless landing. I found out that there was so much Grace to catch me, so much Grace. For the first time I could fully feel Grace in all its glory, since I let go of everything else I was clutching. Once I started to become comfortable in nothingness, and started to feel that emptiness and spacious aloneness were my friends, slowly new opportunities presented themselves, like fresh new seedlings from the earth. I practiced letting go more and more, and at the same time embraced the new opportunities which excited my heart even a little, fully head first and heart thrown open. I took my hardcore fears with me, they were my traveling companions every step of the way. I cared for them/myself, and slowly they became smaller and less threatening. Soon I found we were laughing together in joy at my shortcomings.
Infinite self-compassion and falling back in love with life, are some of the sweetest ways I’ve found to move through challenging times.
Falling in love is literally my favorite thing to do, with everything. With the sky, with the sunrise, with a bird, with a tree. I love to bow down to everything, every chance I get. First thing in the morning, when I see the sky, I bow down to it. Sometimes when I hope no one is looking, I hug a tree.
To be a lover…what is it? To throw all ground, purpose, self-protection, and ambition away…to be full on fullness itself. To give it all away and rest in the softness of emptiness. My love is like this.
“There is a region beyond reason. Unless you get there, you will neither know the sweetness of love nor the Divine.” Sadhguru
“There are love dogs no one knows the names of. Give your life to be one of them.” Rumi